You can find consistency in managing your emotions once you learn how to overcome these 9 journaling obstacles.
A few weeks ago, I sent an email out asking about journaling. I wanted to know who’s super new to the idea vs. who’s comfortable with it, and I got a lot of great feedback. Many of you love journaling because it’s a great way to process your thoughts and emotions.
Many of you were curious about journaling but had no idea how to get started. Also, you said you’d love to start journaling but there are a lot of beliefs or mindsets getting in the way. Journaling is the main tool that I teach and use with my clients to help with identifying, understanding, and processing their emotions.
Today, I thought it would be great to address some of these beliefs. I want to look at each belief to see why it’s faulty, and what’s wrong with believing it, and offer you a practical solution to help you overcome that belief so that you can start journaling consistently.
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Journaling Obstacle #1: Waste of Time
Belief number one: journaling is a waste of time. Usually, what is at the root of this belief is the idea that journaling doesn’t actually do anything right. That it’s not going to produce any kind of tangible results. There’s no transformation to be found because you’re either keeping a log of your day whining and complaining on paper.
As with most things, that’s partly true and partly faulty. Yes, journaling can be keeping track of your day like a diary and it can be a place for venting. I do this a lot. If I’m really upset or really worked up about something, I will get my paper out and I will just dump it all on the page. But that’s not all that we’re doing for journaling.
Journaling is it’s a really powerful tool for self-reflection. It’s great to process your emotions and get insights into what you’re thinking, feeling, and patterns that are developing in your life. Sometimes with journaling, what people are looking for is to feel better instantly. That’s not actually the goal.
The goal is to learn how to take all of the stuff that’s just taking up room in your mind and emotionally and get it out so that you can do something about it. You can address it. You can begin to notice how the same thing keeps happening and you keep making the same choices or experiencing the same emotions to help you make plans on how to move forward.
Here’s your practical solution: start with just five minutes a day. I know I sound like a broken record because I say that for pretty much everything around here, but it’s true. Five minutes are better than no minutes. If you can begin to journal just five minutes a day, over time the benefits will become more apparent to you.
Just start writing down what’s in your heart or mind for five minutes a day. Now, after the first week, are you going to notice a huge difference? Maybe not, but over time you’re going to start to see how much more clarity and self-awareness you have, and how you can make better choices on how to cope and deal with certain things that are coming up in your life.
Journaling Obstacle #2: Don’t Know What to Write
Belief number two: I don’t know what to write. I hear this all the time and I know that blank page is super intimidating. The reason that it becomes super intimidating is because you sit down to write and you think that you’ve got to write something profound or have some deep insight, revelation, or this super transformative experience every time you sit down to journal.
No. Journaling is not about being perfect. It’s not even about being deep. I know that that seems weird because I talk to introverts and deep is our thing but that’s not actually the goal. It’s really about taking some time and giving yourself the space to express what is going on in your heart and mind, and it can be anything.
It can be big things, small things, happy things, sad things. It doesn’t matter, you want to get into the habit of just expressing yourself and getting out what you think and getting out how you feel regularly. That’s the goal. It’s not to have some kind of deep, profound understanding or revelation.
Here’s your practical step: find some simple journaling prompts. If you hop on Pinterest there are journaling prompts galore. If you are inside the Peace Filled Mind course, I give you oodles and oodles of journaling prompts. Use your prompts to get started and combine this with journaling five minutes a day.
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Don’t censor yourself, don’t judge yourself, don’t edit yourself. Just pick a prompt and answer the prompt. If it’s two minutes, if it’s five minutes, or if it’s two hours, whatever, just let that be like your time journaling.
Journaling Obstacle #3: Won’t Change Anything
Belief number three: journaling won’t change my situation. I hear you because when I first started journaling and working on my emotions, I was like how is this going to help the fact that there’s more bills than money coming in? Or how is this going to help the fact that my kids just refuse to listen?
When you think that journaling is this passive thing that you’re just doing, you’re missing the point. Yes, journaling is about a lot of internal work, inner work, and inner transformation, but it affects your external situation and circumstances.
It’s not going to change your situation directly. You’re not going to journal your way out of debt. It doesn’t happen like that. But you can start to change how you perceive what’s going on. Your perception of your situation or circumstances will begin to change.
You’ll have more clarity and peace. You’ll be in a better head and heart space to perceive what’s going on. Your perception of your situation/circumstances will begin to change. You’re going to understand more about what’s going on, how you’re feeling, and how those are all connected, which will then help you learn how to better respond to it.
That’s how you learn to manage your emotions and it’s going to reduce your stress, which is going to help you to not be in that pit of despair all the time and live (and enjoy) your life. Your practical solution: remember and remind yourself that you are looking for perspective while journaling.
You’re not looking necessarily for some magic solution. You’re just looking to gain perspective. You’re looking to gain self-awareness so that you can walk through whatever you’re walking through with more clarity and with more peace.
This is also a perfect time to reflect on how you’re seeing God work in your life. I promise you He is. Even if you think there’s nothing there, there is, I promise. Write out what you’re worried about, and what you’re anxious about, and take that time in a prayer. It’s all a great way to uncover the emotional and spiritual breakthroughs that you’re looking for and want, but it takes time, persistence, and discipline, but you can do it!
Journaling Obstacle #4: Too Busy
The next one is “I’m too busy to journal.” Well, aren’t we all? We are all super busy. I just did an episode about how to journal when you feel like you’re too busy. So many of us feel like our schedules are too packed to add on one more thing.
“I can’t add on five or 10 minutes of journaling because I’ve got to do this and do this and go here and go there and be there.” For some of us, it’s true, our schedules are literally too full. If that’s the case, you need to sit down and do a time audit to figure out what’s essential, and what’s not essential so you can make some changes.
Sometimes you have this mindset that journaling has to be super time-consuming. You believe that you have to have two hours to go to this cafe, get this drink, have this environment, and all of these pens and things before you can sit down to journal. Nope, you don’t.
Like I said before, five minutes a day is sufficient to get started journaling. So take that pressure off of yourself. Your practical solution for this is to find a way to incorporate journaling into your existing routine. Maybe it’s part of your morning routine, lunch, or your bedtime routine.
Just figure out where you can add that into the things that you are already doing because it is going to help you process and walk through your days a lot better. Instead of telling yourself journaling really isn’t essential, flip that and tell yourself it’s a non-negotiable and you’re going to find a place to fit it into your schedule.
Journaling Obstacle #5: Someone Might Read It
The next obstacle is “I’m afraid someone will read my journal.” I heard a lot from some ladies in the workshop that I did in the Spring about not feeling safe to be open and honest in the pages of your journal for fear of somebody reading your stuff.
Maybe it’s not a fear, maybe it’s a legit thing that’s happening – somebody is not respecting your privacy and they are reading the pages of your journal. I hear you! As I was growing up, I had the same issue, where there was somebody in my life that would read through my stuff and it was very invasive.
It was really hurtful and it caused me not to write for a, really, really long time. So I get it. We’re being open, we’re being honest, we’re being vulnerable, and all of those are important, but it can be really scary when you think that it’s not going to be safe.
Journaling is personal and it’s meant to be a safe place to share your thoughts, share your feelings, share your struggles, answer your questions and process all the things. Your practical solution here is to find a way to protect your privacy.
You may need to keep your journal in a secure place. You can lock it up in a safe if you need to. That may sound extreme, but I don’t know your situation. Find a secure place to keep your journal If you feel like there’s not a spot in your home that’s safe.
Digital journaling is another option because you can password-protect it. People can’t get into whatever your files are without knowing your specific password. And if you’re really concerned you paint or draw instead of using words.
Maybe use code so that you are the only person that can understand what you’re writing. Another option that I hesitate to recommend, but for some people it works, is don’t keep your journaling pages.
You can have your time to sit down and journal and then, when you’re done, you can throw those pages away. You can burn them, you can shred them, whatever you want to do to not keep them. You don’t have to keep that running log of your journal if you don’t want to.
For some people, it’s really cathartic and healing to just get it out and then dispose of it because you’re done with it. If that’s something that might be helpful to you, keep that in mind as an option as well.
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Journaling Obstacle #6: It’s Selfish
The next belief is that journaling feels selfish or self-indulgent. This is a belief I hear a lot, especially when it comes to self-care. It’s the idea that it’s selfish and you should not be spending time on yourself. It’s a luxury for people who don’t have all the responsibilities that you and I have. Whatever the case, self-care is not optional.
We’ve talked a lot about this. Self-indulgence and self-care are not the same thing. We’re not talking about ignoring all your responsibilities or all of your people to just sit around and navel-gaze. That’s not what we’re discussing here.
We’re talking about journaling as a part of your self-care tools to help you process your emotions, figure out what’s important to you, and deepen your connection with God. All of these things are essential for maintaining your emotional wellness and resilience, for maintaining good mental health, spiritual health, and physical health.
It’s not about being self-indulgent. It’s about caring for yourself because when you take care of yourself, you can show up in the best way possible for all your people and all the things you are responsible for.
Your practical solution here is to reframe how you think about journaling. If something pops up in your mind, or somebody tells you that you’re being selfish or self-indulgent, stop and reframe that thought.
Tell yourself, “I am caring for myself in a way that is going to benefit myself and those around me.” You’re caring for your mind, your emotional health, and for yourself as a whole, complete, complex person. Set aside time for yourself when you will journal because you need it. It’s good for you, and you deserve it.
Journaling Obstacle #7: I’m Not a Good Writer
Next up: “I’m not a good writer.” All right, listen, this is the one I get a lot, all the time. “Oh, LaToya, you’re such a great writer. You write for a living, you enjoy this. Of course, journaling is easy for you.”
It’s not about being a good writer. Journaling is not about penning the next New York Times bestseller. You don’t have to have any kind of literary skill or knowledge. You don’t have to have big words or eloquent speech or any of that.
It’s not about writing well; it’s about expressing yourself on paper. It’s for you and your eyes and God, It’s not for public consumption. This is a struggle I had myself for a long time as I was getting back into journaling and writing.
I kept calling myself a writer and an author. I write blog posts, I’ve written books, and I do all these things for public consumption. I had conflated this idea of being a writer with journaling and being a writer as an author as the same thing.
I had to make the distinction in my mind that some things are for me to put out into the world for public consumption, and some things are just for me. It’s how I process the world and how I deal with things. Tell yourself that you’re not writing to share with anybody. Nobody ever has to lay eyes on your journal if you don’t want them to. You write for an audience of one.
Your practical solution here: let go of perfection. It’s not invited to your journaling sessions. Just focus on being honest and vulnerable, and don’t worry about how it comes out. You need to have a judgment-free zone when you are sitting down to write.
If this is hard for you or if you struggle with openness, honesty, and vulnerability, I spend a whole module—I think it’s module two—going over this inside the Peace-Filled Mind course. It’s going to help you understand the importance and value of vulnerability.
But I also spend some time helping you figure out why it’s hard or where you’re stuck and giving you some tips on how to lean into that more. Because if you can’t be open, honest, and vulnerable, you’re not really going to get a lot out of your journaling.
Journaling Obstacle #8: Results Take Too Long
The next belief is: “I don’t see immediate results from journaling.” This is like a cousin or a sister to one of the beliefs we talked about earlier – journaling not changing your situation. Here’s the thing—and I feel like I say this a lot, too—we have this expectation of instant gratification right now because we can get everything at the push of a button in society, and it’s doing us a disservice.
We find it hard when things take time. Journaling is not a quick fix. There are no quick fixes when it comes to identifying, processing, and coping with your emotions and hard times. There’s nothing that you can do that’s going to be super quick, at least nothing that will last or have a serious impact on you.
Journaling is a long-term practice, and the benefits build over time. The longer you journal, the more benefits you’re going to experience. If you’re going in thinking, “Yeah, I’m going to sit down for two minutes, and I’m going to journal, and I’m going to be all set,” no, you’re not.
Don’t send me an email saying, “Well, LaToya, I tried this journaling thing for like two days, and I didn’t feel any better, so you’re wrong.” No, you didn’t do it long enough. You’ve got to give it time.
Here’s your practical tip: commit to consistent journaling with realistic expectations. Do not say, “I’m going to journal for seven days, and then suddenly everything in my life is going to make sense.” You’re setting yourself up to fail.
Instead commit to saying, “You know what? I’m going to journal for five minutes a day, every day, for the next two weeks,” And when you hit those two weeks, say, “Great, I’m going to do five minutes a day for two more weeks.”
Once you have this consistency and routine built in, start to go back to your earlier entries and see if you notice some subtle changes and shifts in what you’re thinking, in what you’re feeling, in how you’re reacting and responding to things.
Even your awareness of God’s presence in your life and your situation will shift. On day 45 of journaling, you will see something different than on day three. Give yourself time to see the progress and transformation. I promise you, it’s there. If you are journaling and you’re like, “I don’t see anything,” reach out, and I’ll help you.
Journaling Obstacle #9: Toxic Positivity
The final belief for today is: “I should only write about positive things.” If you’re new here, I do not play the toxic positivity game, not even a little bit. If you’re not new here, you know this already. But here’s the thing: Some people think that you should only write happy things.
It should be just gratitude, victories, and positive reflections because that’s the way to cope with life when it sucks. WRONG!! We are here to be open, honest, and real, so we’re not going to paint everything with sunshine and rainbows because that’s just not life.
My life is hard. I don’t know about you, but my life is hard. Are there moments that are light, nice, and positive? Sure. But when it sucks, it sucks, and you’re not going to do yourself any good pretending otherwise. Journaling as a tool is its most powerful, its most transformational when it reflects all of you as a whole, complete person.
You have to be able to explore the good, the bad, your doubts, your questions, your struggles, your highs, your lows—all the things, including negative emotions. You’ve got to be able to express all of that inside your journal if you want to get the benefits from journaling.
Here’s your solution: give yourself permission to write about anything and everything. I’m going to tell you right now that one of the best things I did to start processing my negative emotions and these super nasty dark thought spirals I used to go into all the time was to journal.
Getting it all out on paper instead of ruminating on it and going over and over and over it in my mind was the best thing, because then I could say, “Okay, now that I kind of see it, now I can begin to make sense of it all,”
Write about the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. Be completely real with yourself, because remember, it’s just for you. No one’s going to grade it, no one’s going to share it with anybody else.
So be real, be honest, be open, and get it all out of you. That is how you’re going to be able to move through all those negative emotions, which is what you’re trying to do anyway.
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Which of these journaling obstacles will you tackle first?
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